Coca-Cola for Culture Jammers

By David Downs
Admit it: You've always wanted to crush a human skull with your bare hands. This week, you won't need to. You can simply taste how that would feel thanks to Brawndo, a powerful new energy drink from San Francisco.
Billed as "The Thirst Mutilator," 2.4 million bright-orange, 16-ounce cans of Brawndo will soon appear in chain convenience stores, representing both the nadir and the zenith of pop culture. Brawndo's viral video ads proudly proclaim its skull-crushing prowess and its "five kinds of sugar!," while its nutritional label reveals 350 milligrams of caffeine per can, making it as strong as five cans of Mountain Dew. ...