3.06.2008

Army of 2 - PS3 - 1st Impression: Ptthbbt!

What a disappointment. This is a Gears of War clone, without any of the fun alien gore. The controls feel ham-fisted, and the tutorial text reads so tiny, I almost gave up. It's like the programmers were saying, "Sack up and get a 46-inch HD plasma, you broke-ass."

And why is everything "locked" when games start now?

"Just keep playing and you can unlock stuff. It'll get more fun."

More fun? How about now? With my shit pistol and rifle? [Snore.]

Level 2, and I already hate the people who made this game.

But. Oscar's coming over for some co-op. Co-op mode better rip nuts, or I will find a way to get even with EA for this.